![]() Where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. How did you know?" "Everything you told me is technically correct,īut it's of no use to anyone." The man below says, "You must be in Says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, about 30 feet above thisįield." "You must be an engineer," says the balloonist. He lowers the balloon furtherĪnd shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below He reduces hisĪltitude and spots a man in a field down below. "Ī man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he is lost. Let each horse be a perfect rolling sphere. Physicist reported, "We have made several simplifying assumptions. The investors listened eagerly to this proposal. They could also predict the outcome of any race, and that their process wasĬheap and simple. They would only be right 10% of the time. They said that theyĬould predict the outcome of any race, at a cost of $100 million per race, and They could genetically engineer an unbeatable racehorse, but it would take 200 One year, the groups all reported to the investors. Each group was given a year to research the issue. ![]() So they hired a group of biologists, a group of statisticians, and a If I can't solve the problem, I change it!"Ī group of wealthy investors wanted to be able to predict the outcome of a Listened politely, then grabbed Miss How and gave her a big smooch. ![]() Soon he declared he was well within accepted error toleranceĪnd grabbed the beautiful woman and kissed her. He quickly bounded halfway down the hall, then halfwayĪgain, and so on. Never get there in a finite number of iterations and politely excused himself. The end, you may kiss our model." The mathematician explained how he would Miss How said, "You may only go half the distance at a time. At the end of the hall, lounging on a couch, was a beautiful woman. Miss How, the administrative assistant took him into He should get a mathematician, an engineer, or an applied mathematician. An engineer sees a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.Ī businessman needed to employ a quantitative type person. The pessimist sees a glass that's half empty. The optimist sees a glass that's half full. The difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers is that mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets. "Don't you want the batteries?"Įngineering is the art of molding materials we do not fully understand into shapes we cannot fully analyze and preventing the public from realizing the full extent of our ignorance. Twenty." "Well, okay." He takes off the watch and the stranger walks away with it and the guy holds up the suitcases. I haven't got it all programmed yet, it's not completely voice-activated." "I've got to buy that watch. I'll pay you ten thousand for that." "No, it's not ready for sale yet. ![]() It's also a pager and it plays recorded books and it receives FM." "That's amazing. Mathematician, Physicist, and Engineer (et al) JokesĪ man was walking down the street with two suitcases when a stranger came up and asked, "Have you got the time?" The man put down the suitcases and looked at his wristwatch and said, "It's exactly five-forty six and fifty point six seconds and the barometric pressure is 30.06 and rising and if you'd like to see where we are by satellite positioning, I can show you that too, or get onto the Internet, check your e-mail, make a long distance call, send a fax. ![]()
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